Sunday, February 28, 2010

Ramblings From a Late Blooming Boomer or Can I Change My Life Now?

Dance of Transitions
I've recently changed my life. Like a lot of baby boomers, I grew dissatified with the structure I had built for myself and woke up one day wondering "What am I doing?"

It starts out pretty innocently, you need to survive, you need a roof over your head, economic realities drive you down a road that leads somewhere you didn't dream about pursuing... In a lot of cases, careers and jobs that didn't even exist when we were teenagers become our day to day existence.

As the years go by, we grow up, and we move further and further away from who we might have been when we had less variety of choice... What we are doing day to day contributes to the mix, possibly we find we are doing the things we have passion for less and less often...

The Wheels Are Turning by Teresa Young
Because whatever we truly loved is fun, it seemed like play and therefore, not to be taken seriously as a possible career choice! Or at least for me, with a scientific bent to my personality, I think I felt I had to pick a side, play or survive. This was thirty years ago, things were more black and white then;-)

But life marches onwards, and you can often come full circle as you travel down life's path... Often the person you found within yourself when you tackled the "what is the meaning of life?" question in your teens, is YOU...

Facial Fancy by Teresa Young
It's the less tarnished and clearer version of your personality that existed before life muddied the mix...

For some of us, as we start heading over the peak of life's hill we start to think, "When is it my turn?"

Probably some dramatic life changes outside of our control start the wheels turning under the surface of consciousness, and we're not necessarily even aware of it...
It makes me wonder, is middle age a gift we are given to grasp in our personal development?

Under the Surface by Teresa Young
Some sort of karmic crossroads where we can reach out and change our direction in a meaningful way? Maybe put ourselves back on a road to some sort of personal destiny that we might have been born for?
It would be hilarious to consider that the middle aged man with the little red sports car was right on some level!

I might be perceived as being somewhat pompous with that last dramatic paragraph, but really, if we don't even think about it, aren't we copping out of living life in an intimate fashion? Where intimate means that you communicate with your inner dreams and underlying thoughts, and connect with yourself and live life more fully.

Figure Frog by Teresa Young
On a more personal note, I remember being convinced at six years old that I wanted to be an artist!
It's a common story, you draw and draw and draw... People ooh and awe...

and somewhere along the way, you think you might be Picasso, Leonardo or Dali!

But sooner or later, we start to lose the dream...

We find out that only a small percentage of people can make a living at that chosen passion...

So we're let down, disappointed... But we pull up our socks and take a sober second look at our options, and compromise.

So we've been forced by life to make the first step over that line to settle for less than we really want out of ourselves, and it just keeps on snowballing it's way out to undiscovered territory.

So, I ask myself... Can I change my life now?

Images by Teresa Young:
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