Sunday, July 1, 2012

Fear, The Spice of Life!
Exhale by Teresa Young
It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

In theory anyway.  I mean really, it's a natural progression, right?  I started off drawing with crayons, just like everyone else in the industrialized world, and then I moved on to pencils, and pencil crayons, and so on...  I've used charcoal, solid graphite sticks, pens, and so on...

But I didn't count on FEAR.  After years of thinking about it in the back of my mind, I finally got up the gumption to go out and buy it...

I did install it, I really did! And then, fear took over, and I put it back in it's box... You know, because it's so delicate, I don't want to drop it, to step on it by mistake, whatever!

I suppose you might be wondering what I'm talking about by now...

It's a natural progression in our society, it only makes sense... It's a stylus and tablet digital drawing pad. And I don't have clue at this exact moment why I thought I could adapt to something so ALIEN to what I've always done when I draw!

But I have a system that seems to be consistent and sort of works for me. I force myself past my own paralyzing fears by plopping myself right in the middle of them so that I have to do something about them... It's how I learn how to overcome a phobia of water to learn how to swim when I was thirteen... And it wasn't a fear, that was a phobia! I almost drowned at five years old, so the phobia developed out of that, I had fallen into a wading pool and cracked my skull open, and ended up unconscious, face down in the water... I don't remember much, but I do remember the ambulance!
Fear of the Future by Teresa Young
So back to FEAR.  I have learned over the years, that the way to force myself into something I want to do and I am really afraid of doing is to get past that wall of fear somehow... Jump in that river, sell that house and move to where you want to be. Huck it all at thirty and go back to school and do something about it!  Just don't let it defeat you.

The really hard thing about fear is that once you conquer one, there's always, and I mean ALWAYS, another one waiting in the wings!

But life would be so boring without Fear!  If everything was easy, then it wouldn't mean a darn thing when you accomplished anything, no personal buy-in, no jump in your endorphins, no fear....

Ah well, I suppose I take that thingy-bob out of it's box soon and try some of the tutorials and chip away at my fear a bit!


muzuzuzus said...

I see. But another perspective could be the 'fear' of NOT thinking you *have* to conform, Now for example take me---I see nearly everyone, old young stuck to their little hand held computers. I have seen them walk in beautiful places oblivious to nature around them as they are either glued to their little gadget, and/or have it to their ear and incessantly chitter chatter. I do not, and will not have one and am glad of it.
So do not think you are fearful for NOT 'moving on' to the digital pad, and that other forms of drawing are old hat. A fear as I say could be the fear of being a rebel to enforced techno-conformity.
I could go on with this, but just to add how I HATE intensely the singing into a machine to make sure the notes are 'right' that many of the 'pop stars' are doing now. MUZAC is even better than that shit!

Dalifan said...

Yeah, I know what you are saying. I'm trying to view it as an additional tool, something to add a new dimension to things I want to accomplish, actually. In no way, shape or form, would I actually give up on traditional means of creating art! Thanks for the comment! Teresa;-)