Trying to reprogram negative thought trains

Enjoy Yourself by Teresa Young.

I've noticed myself getting more negative over the last couple of years. Which is a serious issue, because I start to feel like I'm pushing against a wall whenever I try to get something done!
I think this is pretty common for most of us as we get older, but I've got an opinion (when do I not!) that artists are more susceptible to loss of faith in themselves due to our sensitive natures. 
That sounds pretty bad, but I think it's a side effect of what artist's do how they are wired.
Maybe we're like racehorses? So skittish and high strung because we are overly aware of everything!



Path of Intuition by Teresa Young.

In view of that gibber jabber I just went through above, I decided to take a workshop course on how to change my attitude to life! It's called Blast Off! and it's run by Alyson Stanfield, who runs a site called Art Biz Coach. I've never done anything like this before, so it's an experiment that should be interesting to say the least!
Literally, she has us trying to derail our negative thought trains by working against them with our own 'affirmations' or 'intentions'. We have to create these and repeat them to ourselves daily in order to create the habit of thinking in new ways.
It really does make sense, think about how much time we spend thinking negatively, out of fear of things like disappointment, humiliation, pain and so on... A short time over the course of a day to try to counter that just makes so much sense!
Maybe we all need to just stop and take a breath once in a while and pat ourselves on the back, and affirm that we like and appreciate ourselves. It's not a bad idea!

Fear, The Spice of Life!

Exhale by Teresa Young

It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

In theory anyway.  I mean really, it's a natural progression, right?  I started off drawing with crayons, just like everyone else in the industrialized world, and then I moved on to pencils, and pencil crayons, and so on...  I've used charcoal, solid graphite sticks, pens, and so on...

But I didn't count on FEAR.  After years of thinking about it in the back of my mind, I finally got up the gumption to go out and buy it...

I did install it, I really did! And then, fear took over, and I put it back in it's box... You know, because it's so delicate, I don't want to drop it, to step on it by mistake, whatever!

I suppose you might be wondering what I'm talking about by now...

It's a natural progression in our society, it only makes sense... It's a stylus and tablet digital drawing pad. And I don't have clue at this exact moment why I thought I could adapt to something so ALIEN to what I've always done when I draw!

But I have a system that seems to be consistent and sort of works for me. I force myself past my own paralyzing fears by plopping myself right in the middle of them so that I have to do something about them... It's how I learn how to overcome a phobia of water to learn how to swim when I was thirteen... And it wasn't a fear, that was a phobia! I almost drowned at five years old, so the phobia developed out of that, I had fallen into a wading pool and cracked my skull open, and ended up unconscious, face down in the water... I don't remember much, but I do remember the ambulance!



Fear of the Future by Teresa Young

So back to FEAR.  I have learned over the years, that the way to force myself into something I want to do and I am really afraid of doing is to get past that wall of fear somehow... Jump in that river, sell that house and move to where you want to be. Huck it all at thirty and go back to school and do something about it!  Just don't let it defeat you.

The really hard thing about fear is that once you conquer one, there's always, and I mean ALWAYS, another one waiting in the wings!

But life would be so boring without Fear!  If everything was easy, then it wouldn't mean a darn thing when you accomplished anything, no personal buy-in, no jump in your endorphins, no fear....

Ah well, I suppose I take that thingy-bob out of it's box soon and try some of the tutorials and chip away at my fear a bit!

Reading the whole night through!

Well, two nights ago I did it again...  Indulged my secret addiction and ended up staying up all night to do it.  You'd think by middle age it would no longer be a problem!

Nope, not talking about sex, but reading... I have a terrible habit of not being able to stop! I can stop a movie in the middle and take a break, I can stop a game after awhile and do something else, but I get a really good read going on a quality story, and bang! I'm done for.

When I read a great story it transports me into that world, I get connected to the characters and care about what happens. It's almost like I'm there, I literally almost feel immersed into it. I've never gotten that type of experience out of other mediums. Maybe I'm a freak of nature, but ever since I was eleven years old and I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy in a weekend, I've had a problem with moderating my reading habits...

Sure, read before you go to bed, it'll definitely help you get to sleep!

Ruminations About Skies

 

Have you ever thought about skies and how they represent so many things to the human psyche?

Even an alien landscape with a sky unlike anything in nature will activate hidden emotional associations for most people...

An artist will be aware of this on a conscious or unconscious level and use this to their advantage when creating an image.  It is a very effective mechanism for reaching people non-verbally and it is the inherent symbolism that allows it to work.

A wintry sky will feel cold and unwelcoming to the viewer, even if the other elements in the image are beautiful and stimulating. 

It can evoke a loneliness, a feeling expressed very effectively with minimal subjects within an image.

This is because that over the years, the sky has developed a symbolism in art and literature that it is pretty well impossible to separate it from. 

This is something that an artist has to think about in a conscious way.  If they are trying to project a certain emotional impression in a piece, they can totally destroy the desired mood by putting the sky into the wrong cast and activating subtle emotional associations.

A wide open sky will elicit many emotional reactions and associations to the audience, that it is one of the most powerful symbols that is guaranteed to have a sure-fire impact.

 

Think about it, a windy sky will give a feeling of lonely, endless vistas that leaves the viewer with a wistfulness. 

A photo taken of the from above will actually make the audience think they are looking at water...

Years ago, trying to capture this effect, I took a photograph from the top of a mountain in the interior of British Columbia, a place called Mount Lolo.  The photograph was showing something I had seen previously when I was in the air force and serving at a radar station on Mount Lolo. 

You literally felt that you could sail away over the clouds in the sky, they looked so much like water... 

It had a freedom to it that stuck in my mind for years, a strong symbolism that I felt compelled to travel back to capture after the fact.  This watery sky was so strong in my mind, that it lasted, and I think it might qualify as a type of universal symbol that can bridge language boundries.

Images:
1.  Photo by Teresa Young - near Mill Village, NS,  2. Alien Rotations by Teresa Young, April 2001,  3.  From the top of Mt. Lolo - Teresa Young, 1997,  4. Mahone Bay, Teresa Young, 2009,  5. Edmonton Sky by Rick LeBlanc,  4. From the top of Mt. Lolo - Teresa Young, 1997.